5.Your Partner/ The Father
This is perhaps one of the most unpredictable of the 5 phases. You think you know your partner is going to be, but reality turns out differently.
Absent or Distracted?
The partner who came to every clinic visit and class and was there for you during labour, suddenly changes. He starts to find work, travel, laptop and cellphone and the latest box set much more interesting than the screaming baby who wont stop peeing, pooing and puking.
Your partner wants to know “what happened to our social life and those fantastic meals we used to eat… and the sex? What about me and my needs? and I’m sorry darling, but I’m out again tomorrow night and I have to go to Huddersfield for a conference next week . Sorry I was late home tonight but Dave and Tom wanted to ‘wet the baby’s head’, and I couldn’t say no. And why is the baby crying so much, please try and keep him quiet as I have an important day at work tomorrow.”
Or Super Dad?
Or is he besotted and useful . The nappy supremo and expert on baby paraphernalia, sling wizard, and burpmaster general. In tune, in sympathy, and perhaps more important, in the kitchen, with his latest recipe for hungry breast-feeding, sleep deprived new mothers. He is also strict with all Rabbits Friends and Relations who dare to overstay their welcome. He has managed to organise his work so that, not only did he get two weeks off but for the next three months he can work at home on Wednesdays. Wow! and I thought he wasn’t really interested, but now I find he’s even did these amazing FREE Online Antenatal Classes. 😉
You don’t get to choose.
Seriously though, a lot of mothers turn out to be quite surprised by their partners response to parenthood. Some men , like some women, can take some time to really feel the bond with their newborn. Some get it straight away and some need some space and time and come good later. Is it genetic, random or do all fathers turn out like their own fathers? Can you modify their feelings? Maybe, but this topic is outside my expertise. Answers on a postcard please.